For me, one of the hardest money lessons I ever had to learn didn’t even involve money. So many times, when we think of money management, we simply just think of tracking numbers on a spreadsheet and making sure, they fit into nice little categories.
However, money management isn’t all about how much money you have or don’t have, it’s about your behavior with the money you do have it. It doesn’t matter if you’re a spender or a saver, if you aren’t spending or saving wisely, then you’re still not managing your money well.
So how does behavior play into money management?
Ever heard the word, contentment before? I know you have and I know you know where this is headed, but before you roll your eyes and click the X in the corner, let me challenge you a little. I’ve been reflecting a lot on my darkest days financially here lately. Maybe it’s because I’m about to be a decade older and hindsight is always 20/20.
Back then, I struggled with understanding why I couldn’t control my spending. It took a while to understand that I was using retail therapy to “heal” the issues I refused to deal with. And it took an even longer while to realize that I was allowing discontentment to reign over me.
But, the key player here. The key factor that changed everything for me was clarity. Clarity is the ultimate power – you have to accept responsibility. Stop playing the victim and start doing as Peter Voogd states in his book Six Months to Six Figures, “with clarity comes to motivation, but it’s only when you take full responsibility for your current reality can you change it.”
I love that part – “it’s only when you take full responsibility for your current reality can you change it.” Because that is so true. Only when we truly recognize the errors of our ways and are willing to accept responsibility for them can we change them.
So, what does this have to do with managing money? Well, everything. Because if we continue to play the victim of our finances we’ll never be able to succeed financially. We must accept responsibility for our financial futures.
Now, I know you may be saying something like, “but my ex stole all my money!” or “I loaned my brother money and he hasn’t paid me back yet and I need the money.” I get that – I truly do. My ex helped me sink myself into debt, but honestly, it was when I stopped blaming him and accepted responsibility for my financial future that things changed.
Because you have the responsibility of managing your money and if you play the victim of circumstances, then you’re never going to be able to win with money. And I know you want to win this game.
The thing is this: without accepting responsibility for your financial future you’ll continue to make no real actions in order to change your current situation because there will always be someone or something else to blame for your money failings. Don’t fall into this trap. Yes, there are circumstances outside your control. Yes, they can cause you to stumble and fall many, many times with money, but ultimately, it’s up to you in how you deal with those circumstances.
If you haven’t already accepted responsibility for your financial future, do it now. Make a vow to stop blaming others and situations outside your control and accept what you can control. You can control how and where your spend your money. You can control how you’ll earn extra money – part-time job, side hustle, odd jobs, or one of the numerous ways to earn extra money online.
Doesn’t matter how you do it, start making changes to control your behavior with money. It will literally change your financial future for the better.
What advice or encouragement can you offer to someone struggling to accept responsibility for their financial future?
“Make a vow to stop blaming others and situations outside your control and accept what you can control.” — YES! I apply this to student loans. Even if I didn’t know better and it could arguably be part the fault of my parents, it is completely unproductive and destructive for me to think this way. Instead, I take full responsibility and have paid off $85k. I’m not done yet, but I have a law degree and while it’s painful, it’s a journey that I’ve fully committed to.
Awareness in your own behavior, money or otherwise, is so huge. I think when we can recognize our behavior we have the ability to change it, but we must choose to do so. Thanks for sharing.
I think a big issue is to be happy with what you have. More money just means you can get more or (sometimes) better-quality stuff; but once your needs are met, well, how much more is there? You can only wear so many shirts, you can only display so many decorative items. We get caught up in this trap of wanting more or newer or better or different; but we don’t have to. I have thought for a long time lately that the key to happiness is to want less – that so much of our unhappiness is caused by wanting more (either physical or emotional – more shoes, more bags; but also more love, more passion) – but if we take the time to be grateful for what we have, and to recognise that, for many of us (not for all of us, but for many of us), we have sufficient for our needs – it’s hard to be unhappy if you change your mindset from wanting more to being content and grateful for what you already have.
For me the highlight of this article is this: “Make a vow to stop blaming others and situations outside your control and accept what you can control. You can control how and where your spend your money. You can control how you’ll earn extra money – part-time job, side hustle, odd jobs, or one of the numerous ways to earn extra money online.” I so needed to hear this. We are not doing well financially, hubby is without work, things in our country is not great either. But we need to stop blaming everyone and everything. TAKE responsibility. THANK YOU. I NEEDED to hear this. 😉
You are so right – thank you for stressing that only when we take responsibility for our situation can we really move on and succeed. ?It’s definitely one of the most difficult lessons we’ve learned in handling our finances.
I always ask myself if I really need this thing, or if I just want it. Sometimes my wife will discuss with me making a purchase and I’ll ask that and she’ll say “yea, you’re right.” But I didn’t even give an opinion, I just asked a question.
You know in your heart if you are wasting money on those new things or if you’re just buying for the sake of buying. Take a moment to just ask yourself and be honest with yourself
Being content and not spending out of your needs is an important reminder to yourself. Whenever I get my salary, I instantly deposit my savings and budget what I spend until the next payday. I used to be an avid impulse spender but making this a habit can really change your life. Thanks for the wonderful read. 🙂