“Jessi, I love how content you are.” “Your contentment amazes me and inspires me.” “How are you always so content?”
These are just a few of the comments I’ve received throughout my life about how content I am, but I want to be 100% honest – I’m not always as content as I seem.
I think contentment comes in seasons. Don’t get me wrong, I had a great example growing up of what contentment looks like from my mom so contentment does tend to come a little more naturally to me, but that doesn’t mean that I’m perfectly content all the time.
Most of y’all know about my early adult life when I was broke and was struggling through financial hell. That was definitely a season of discontentment and it was obvious that I was discontent, but discontentment isn’t always so visible.
In fact, I believe the most dangerous form of discontentment is the kind that sneaks up on us.
If you subscribe to my weekly email newsletter, you know that at the start of summer, I was struggling with discontentment, because with summertime comes summer vacations. And I really want a vacation…like yesterday. And by a vacation, I mean a week off from cell phones, laptops, tablets, from grocery shopping, from bill paying, and cleaning up the same gosh-darn mess 17 times in one day. I want a vacation with a sandy beach, ocean view, and lots of sun block.
From our honeymoon…
But here’s the kicker – we can’t afford a vacation this year. If we were to take the vacation described above, it would literally take almost a $1,000 (and maybe even more) away from our debt payoff goal of having my student loans paid off by the end of this year. Not to mention that we still have to pay my doctor for our upcoming arrival of baby three and the fact that in September we have a lot of traveling to North Carolina to afford.
There’s no way that we can afford to “get away” right now and that thought just makes me sad, because I need a vacation. I need a getaway. I need to hear the ocean calling my name. I need to lie out in the sun all day and not care about the world.
I need, I need, I need….
Y’all, that’s how discontentment starts. Right there ^^^^, with “I need……; I need…..; I need……”. Let’s get real – do I really need a vacation?
No.
Do I really need to hear the ocean calling my name?
No.
Do I really need to lay out in the sun and be roasted and toasted and burnt to a crisp?
No.
It’s so challenging to remind ourselves of what our true needs are instead of what our wants are. Because sometimes our wants really do feel like needs and in our current digital age, discerning between a need and want is difficult.
From our trip to Mexico in 2012…
This is why I have to remind myself almost daily of what our goals are. Not just our financial goals, but my personal and business goals as well. I have to remind myself of my top priorities because although yes, a family vacation does fit in with my priorities of spending time with my family, it doesn’t fit in with our financial goal of paying off my student loans by the end of year.
Now, many of y’all have asked me why it is that we don’t consider putting a temporary hold on our debt pay off plan. Sure, we could do that and there’s nothing wrong with doing that if that’s something that you’re family agrees on, but for us a temporary hold, would turn into an almost indefinite hold. We know from many other aspects of our lives together that anytime we hit the pause button on something, we struggle to pick it back up and regain momentum.
Therefore, we have to constantly seek contentment. We constantly have to remind each other what we’re working towards. When my husband struggles to say “no” to his McFrappes every day, I have to remind him that it’s money that could be better spent. And when I struggle with wanting a vacation that I need so desperately, he has to remind me that my student loans aren’t going to pay themselves.
Being content isn’t easy. We have to seek gratitude for the things that we do have – a comfortable bed to sleep in at night, a working vehicle, money to pay the power bill, a best friend that knows when we need a batch of cookies without even asking, a spouse that knows when to give us space to work through something, the sound of little feet running down the hallway in the morning, the grace and mercy of God, and the peace that comes from an attitude of gratitude.
Where can you find contentment today?
Thanks for sharing! Anyone who says they don’t struggle with the same sort of thoughts/feelings is lying. Our current self doesn’t care whether or not our future self achieves any of our goals. For me, my go-to for contentment is staring at my 5-month-old. Nothing can put me in a better frame of mind than thanking him for making me smile.
Oh I love that Luke! Kiddos have a way of making us thankful. 🙂
no one has ever accused me of being content 😉 I’ve always dreamed of bigger and better things, and that’s why I have my student loan debt and why it hasn’t been paid off sooner.
Like you, I can’t pause debt payoff. I’ll never restart and I’ll lose momentum. Just wanted to support you there!
Thank you so much Kirsten! I’ve always been surprised when someone makes a comment about my contentment because I struggle with it often. :-/
I couldn’t have read this post at a better time. I’m going through the same thing. Everyone at work is asking when I’m taking a vacation this year. That is because they are all going to these awesome places. I feel sad knowing that a vacation doesn’t fit into the plan this year, but staying on track of paying off my student loans June 2016 will feel so much better than any vacation! We just have to keep the eye on the prize girl!
Yes ma’am! I’m cheering you on and you are so incredible for sticking to your plan because, oh that is so gosh-darn tough!
Hi Lady,
At this point, I hear you on debt pay off. I am in that mode as well. When I NEED a vacation or time to myself, I’ve learned to take it. It sounds crazy, but works for me. For example – the beach like you said. I put on my bathing suit. Step out into the back yard and unfold my lounge chair. I slather on pina colada sun tan oil, have my wine slushee and soak up the sun. Listen to the sounds of nature. Let the sun beat on me for an hour or two. That really re-charges my batteries. Then In a couple of hours I can get back to what I need to do. When my son was little, we would “camp” in the living room. Set up the tent, yes in the middle of the living room. Turn off all electronics and chill. We would sleep in the tent & have a good old time. To us, vacation is a state of mind. Not where we are at.
Good luck on paying your debt down. You go girl! I love your blog. Your keeping me on track!!
Shannon
I absolutely love that Shannon!!!! “To us, vacation is a state of mind. Not where we are at.” Seriously, I think I’m going to write that on my bathroom mirror because that is awesome!!! 🙂 Thank you so much for your encouragement Shannon. 🙂
This is a concept I’m working on a lot, not only because it’s helpful with our financial goals, but because it’s good for my mental and physical health, too. (I just read Spontaneous Happiness, and loved it!) I felt very content during a walk outside this morning. Of course, when my daughter is pushing back about not getting to do something she wants, I’d have a harder time describing myself as “”content”. 🙂
I’ve been really working more towards an attitude of gratitude this year because if I spend too much time on what I can’t have, I tend to miss what I do have. It’s definitely a work in progress… :-/
I feel ya… I’ve had to say no to friends who have wanted us to take weekend trips to Vegas and we’ve put off other trips we would like to take so we can focus on our financial goals. We do have some trips coming up in the fall, and I’m thankful for that, but it’s been hard reminding myself of that in the moment when I want to get away ASAP! Finding contentment will go a long way to reduce frivolous spending and it’s something I’m working on. 😉
This is a great encouragement. It is soooooo easy to get caught up in being discontent. I have to give myself a reality check very often and remember that I have all of my needs taken care of and many of my wants as well, so I have it far better than many others. I applaud you for knowing yourself well enough to know that pausing your goals would do more harm than good, but I do hope that you can find smaller/inexpensive ways to find the rest you need. Thanks for sharing! 🙂
I’m sorry you’re struggling with this at the moment. It’s hard to travel with a new baby, so your sun-and-surf vacation might still be a couple of years off. But, as someone who loves vacations, the anticipation is one of the best parts – so there’s no reason why you can’t start day-dreaming now. Go to a travel agent and pick up a few brochures on your dream destination. Or go to the library and pick up a travel guide. Then when you’re feeling the need for a vacation, you can plan your dream holiday – so what if you never get there?
I’m going through some fairly large life changes at the moment as I transition out of work and into study. It’s a great change and I’m happy about it; but it’s also very hard because I hadn’t noticed until now jus how much of my self-worth is tied up with earning an income. Because of various quirks I’ll actually be on the same money until at least April next year (and possibly longer) but not having to get up every morning and go to work – it’s really thrown me. My routine is different and so I find (even though I have more time) I’m constantly forgetting to do stuff that just came naturally when I was working outside the home. It’s an adjustment. But I’m trying to focus on the positive – I’m very fortunate to have this opportunity and under these circumstances.
Definitely needing this right now….. having a hard time being content in my current season…. That’s what I keep telling myself… Its just a season! Praying for grace… praying I give myself grace! Thank you for being so honest and encouraging! 🙂
You are so welcome Lauren! Grace is always the hardest to give when we have to give it to ourselves. You’ve got this! 🙂