Are you an imposter?
I know, my question is dramatic, but many of us are in fact imposters. I do not mean that we are imposters in the sense that we have a whole another family living in another state or lead a completely different life on the side. I mean we are imposters with our money.
I discovered that I had been being an imposter with my money when I was going through financial hell. After crying into my dog’s fur because I literally had no money and was facing eviction, I decided that the hailstorm was coming one way or another and I could wait for it to hit me in the face or I could run full force towards it.
So, I sat down at my dining room table and created my first budget. It was not easy facing the reality of the financial hell I had created for myself, but that simple budget forced me to take responsibility for my own actions and own up to the fact that no one but myself put me in that situation. After realizing how in the red I was, I tore through my apartment and gathered up everything I could possibly sell on the floor of my living room.
As I sat there going through this mountain of stuff, I realized that this stuff looked like it belonged to someone else. I had expensive clothing, nice gadgets, nice jewelry, and lots and lots of stuff. This was not me. I am simple kind of girl who never really cared about name brand anything but the stuff on my living room floor that night showed me a completely different person that I had become.
I was an imposter. I had been spending money in a way that did not represent me and who I am as a person. As a result of that crazy imposter spending, I had accumulated a mountain of junk that I did not really care about. Sure, this stuff was nice and some if it I really liked but overall, this stuff did not fit my personality at all.
Why I was being an imposter with my money, I have no idea. Maybe it was the people that I had surrounded myself with at the time. Maybe they were unintentionally influencing my purchasing decisions, but ultimately I made the purchases and had to take responsibility for them.
Are you being an imposter with your money? Are you spending your money in a way that represents you and your values? Are you spending money according to your goals and what truly makes you happy? If not, you may be an imposter with the way you spend your money.
The quickest way to check and the check that I do often is to go over all your expenses for the last three months. I typically even pull out the items that I purchased and throw them all on the floor in my bedroom so I have a nice visual of my stuff. I then ask myself if this stuff represents me and does it contribute to my family’s overall goals and happiness?
If the answer is yes, I know that I am spending our money in a way that works for us, but if the answer is no, then I have to revisit our budget and discuss with my hubs why we are spending money outside of our long-term and short-term goals.
If you have never done an “imposter check” before, I highly encourage you to do so. It is super helpful in determining if the way you are spending money and what you are spending money on align with where you want to end up financially.
Have you ever been an imposter with your money?
Linked Up To: Thrifty Thursday
i don’t think I do too badly representing who I am and what I have, but I think my husband struggles. He wants to appear really successful to everyone and, if we don’t have money for something, he’ll just go to his parents. We’ve been married for over 10 years! It’s a little ridiculous. But you’d never know we struggle to make ends meet. Because of the parents, we have housecleaners, the kids have new clothes, and we have a new vehicle sitting in the driveway. So, yup, imposters!
Oh goodness Kirsten! My hubs was similar in wanting to appear really successful but he doesn’t like asking for money so it was a huge blow to his ego when we couldn’t afford the things that he really wanted. I hope that your hubs finds peace with his struggle and I know that it’s hard on you having to live alongside it.
I don’t think so, but sometimes we are the last people to see it. I am not really that into clothes and other stuff. I do love to go out to eat or get carry-out and often when we look at our finances that week I realize I need to cut back. As soon as something disrupts our evening I just go for dinner out.
I’ve been so guilty of going out to eat here lately just because I don’t feel like cooking! It definitely wrecked our budget back in March and I had to give up part of my blog money back towards our budget – that’s the deal I made with my hubs that if I want to eat out I got to pay for it. 🙁
I wouldn’t say I am an impostor but I do spend money on little things I don’t need and they tend to add up. I’m working on eating out less and making lunches for work at home as well as avoiding Wal-Mart during my lunch breaks. That REALLY gets me in trouble. I started budgeting and it has helped. I’ve accepted my financial faults and I’m happy to start working on them!
I used to go into Walmart or Target all the time on lunch break and I would end walking out with things I didn’t need. Total understand Amber! 🙂
Great post Jessi. Here’s the problem: most people don’t know what they value. I know it sounds strange but after coaching hundreds of people on this very issue, I can say that when you are unaware or unsure about what you value, it’s easy to spend money on things that are not really important to you. I’ve got a great values exercise that I’ve used with people for years. If anyone wants it they can email me and I’ll send it along.